Author of Jobless Recovery Second Edition, Talented Horsewoman, Night Camp, and We Interrupt This Date
Join me at "The Moose," otherwise known as A Moose Walked Into a Bar - Sit Down Comedy. Three funny lady writers and blog on the humorous things in life. http://amoosewalkedintoabar.blogspot.com/
About We Interrupt This Date:Since her divorce a year ago, Susan Caraway has gone through the motions of life. Now she is finally coming out of her shell. Just when she decides on a makeover and a new career, her family members decide she's crisis central. First there’s her sister DeLorean who has come back from California with a baby, a designer dog, and no prospects for child support or a job. As soon as DeLorean settles in at Susan’s home, Susan’s son Christian returns from college trailing what Susan’s mama refers to as “an androgynous little tart.” Then there’s Mama herself, a southern lady who wrote the book on bossy. A secret from Mama’s past threatens to unravel her own peace. But not before Mama hurts her ankle and has to move into Susan’s home with her babies—two Chihuahuas with attitude. Susan would like to start her new job as a ghost tour operator. She would like to renew her relationship with Jack Maxwell, a man from her past. But Jack isn’t going to stand in line behind her needy family.
This excerpt is from Chapter Two where Susan has lunch with her friend Veronica and announces she's decided to start dating again.
“It’s a blind date, isn’t it?” Veronica said this in tones she might
use to announce that the earth was in the path of an asteroid the size of the
My casual shoulder shrug and my sudden interest in watching a couple
of restaurant patrons stroll by were admission enough. Veronica knew I hadn’t
been anywhere lately except to yoga. It wasn’t like I was going to arrange a
date with a stranger I crashed my cart into at the Publix grocery.
“Wait, don’t tell me. That New Age person you work with is the one
who’s hooking you up. That can’t be good. I imagine her taste in men runs to
long-haired, ascetic types with dark, soulful eyes. They all read tarot and
teach meditation classes, go to Nepal on vacation, and wear necklaces made of
healing crystals.” Veronica sighed from the bottom of her soul. “Susan, Susan,
“It’s true that Patty got me the date with her boyfriend’s cousin,” I
said reluctantly, “but he’s not a meditation teacher, he’s an insurance
Patty and Veronica had only crossed paths once, months ago, when
Veronica stopped by my office to leave off an invitation to her niece’s baby
shower. Patty was wearing gold hoop earrings and was dressed in her usual
style--floor-length crepe, rainbow-colored skirt and matching blouse. Her jet-black
hair hung to her waist in ropy coils, so she looked like one of those carnival
fortunetellers. She’d made the mistake of offering Veronica a half-priced tarot
reading because she looked like she was “having man problems.”
“I suppose she consulted the pagan gods first. I’ve never had a blind
date in my life and I certainly wouldn’t let someone like Patty arrange one for
She’d told me once that needing to have someone fix you up was an
admission of failure and God knew I didn’t need something else to make me feel
like a loser. I love Veronica dearly, but even she admits she tends to view the
world in black and white and she can be less than tolerant of viewpoints that
differ from her own. Not for the first time I pondered the whimsy of fate that had
brought me a best friend who had so much in common with my mother.
No, I’d chosen Veronica and
fate had nothing to do with it.
The Witness Wore Blood Bay is the second in my Leigh McRae horse mystery series.
In this excerpt, Leigh goes undercover to help her cousin Sammi find out who's poisoning the neighborhood dogs. Leigh pretends to be a former resident of the home occupied by suspect Eloise Barker.
I’m Sarah Goddard.” I smiled so big my mouth hurt.
had used her usual stunning logic to select my faux name. She thought Sarah
sounded sweet and Goddard reminded her of God. And “no one would ever suspect
God of lying and tricking people, would they, babe?”
there something I can help you with?” Her narrowed eyes showed her total
Sammi had warned me the Barkers weren’t the most sociable of people. If I were
lucky, Mrs. Barker would be too cautious to fall for my story and I could
leave. I was already regretting my part in Sammi’s scheme to get into the
Barker home. The theory had sounded a lot better than the actuality.
I hope I don’t sound silly or anything.” All unbidden my voice had morphed into
the squeaky, overly-optimistic tones of a junior high cheerleader. “My family
used to live here years ago when I was a child. I wondered if you’d mind
terribly showing me the house. You know how it is, you can’t help but get
nostalgic about old times.”
you live here in Del Canto?” Her expression would have done credit to a stone.
ma’am. I mean, not yet, we’re just visiting, but we might relocate from
Georgia. We’re thinking of moving over there.” I waved my hand to include the
whole western side of town, which would include the harbor and yacht basin as
well as a number of quaint shoppes.
you said your name is? Is that your married name, because I don’t recall seeing
that name on any of the paperwork for the house. There were two owners before
us.” By now her eyes were so narrowed down they looked like coin slits in a
name. Yes, I’m a Goddard now.” I hid my ringless left hand in a fold of my
dress and grinned like I was auditioning for a teeth-whitening commercial. I
hoped like mad she wouldn’t ask my maiden name because I did not know either of
the previous two owners.
your maiden name was...”
it. What a suspicious b–I mean, woman.
I blurted. Dummy. Why did I choose Brenda’s name?
mouth twisted sideways. “I don’t recognize the name Harper.”
was raised by relatives and my last name was different from theirs.” I was
tempted to pile on details, maybe claim my parents had been lost at sea or sent
to prison for grand theft auto. Sammi had told me once she read in a psychology
book that people would be more likely to believe lies if the liar added lots of
realistic-sounding detail to their tall tales. But I didn’t think the bit about
the parents was all that realistic, so I stifled the impulse and tried to look
honest, yet somewhat traumatized by my difficult childhood. “I understand if
it’s not convenient for me have a look inside.” I took a step backward and
almost fell off the porch. “I’m so sorry I bothered you.”
Of course, there's no such thing as a jobless recovery because if you're jobless, there is no recovery. Try telling that to the people who run our government. Or talk to former FBI agent Joe Tremaine, one of the main characters in my novel, Jobless Recovery. In this excerpt from Chapter Five, Joe tries to make ends meet by doing odd jobs. As he works on repairing a deck, he contemplates other ways to earn money. These other ways might not be legal, but they sure would bring in money a lot faster.
The deck repair job wouldn’t take more than half a day. Joe figured he’d clear maybe a hundred bucks for his trouble, not nearly enough to pay for his new prescription. There was too much competition out there from men who’d lost their jobs and were willing to take on any kind of handyman work.
The glass door in front of him slid open. Joe’s customer, a smug-faced man wearing plaid slacks and a lime colored golf shirt pulled tight over his gut, walked out and stood over him with his hands on his hips like a guard watching a chain gang bust rocks.
“I’ve got to leave to pick up a few things at Office Max. You going to drag the job out to take me for a few more dollars?”
Joe straightened up and put down his hammer. “Being that you’re paying me so God-awful much money, I’m going to finish by noon so I can still have time to get down to the bar and hoist a few with my low-life friends.”
The customer had deducted fifty bucks from his bid, knowing Joe would be forced to take the offer. He picked up another nail and touched it to the wood. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. We already agreed on a price.”
The man’s wife sashayed out of the house wearing a microscopic tube top, flesh-eating slacks, and gold-colored high heels. She tugged at her husband’s arm. “Herb, don’t be so rude. Mr. Tremaine’s got only a few more boards to nail on. You go to the store, and I’ll pay him when he’s done.”
Joe slid his glance sideways, letting his gaze roam from her face down to her hips and back up. She was a lot younger than her husband. Probably a second wife, or even a third. Let Herb think he was interested, maybe even give him cause to wonder if it was safe to leave his young wife alone with Joe. Serve him right. It was a shame, though, that he couldn’t let the idiot know who he was really dealing with.
A few minutes later Joe banged in the last nail. His thoughts raced through his mind seeking a way out for him and coming up against a million dead ends. More than once since he landed in poverty he’d thought about making money, a lot of money, by robbing banks or committing any of dozens of other kinds of crimes. He certainly knew enough about crime to be able to put a good plan together and he already had the knack of ignoring his conscience when it was convenient. He’d always thought he’d make a good con man. The main problem, though, and one he hadn’t yet been able to get past, was that he stood out like a giraffe in a pen full of cattle.
Any mark would be able to describe him to the police. “Yes, officer, the thief was six feet tall and he walked with a limp. Dark hair, going gray at the temples. Small scar on his face near his left eye. Big scar on the back of his head. Looked kind of desperate.” Most of the people in his neighborhood would shove each other out of the way to collect the reward money.
Before he left, he pulled his cigarettes out of the glovebox and smoked one while he flipped through his appointment book. It was blank for all the days after today, except for the phone number of a woman who wanted her porch repaired because of termite damage. He tossed the book down on the seat next to his binoculars, still lying where he’d left them after the last time he’d driven down to the river on surveillance.
His mouth twisted into a grimace. Surveillance--as if he was still worth a damn and still had a job to do. A million times he’d driven past the house and down as close as he could get to the river without trespassing or being seen. He’d hidden among the trees, watching Senator Drake, so motionless even the insects didn’t know he was there. Pathetic, that he had to pretend he was still in the FBI.
Jobless Recovery is a term we've all come to know. We've read about it in the news, heard about it on TV, and a lot of us are experiencing the jobless recovery. Now here's Jobless Recovery, the novel. Here's a short scene where main character, Dave Griffin, a computer programmer, has just lost his job to cheaper imported labor. Ken is his supervisor, who doesn't know quite how to smooth things over.
From Chapter Three
Ken stopped at Dave’s cubicle shortly before lunch and dropped the envelope on his desk as if it were a bomb. Dave shot a rubber band across the cubicle and watched it bounce off a spare monitor he’d scavenged from the supply room and left in a corner in case he needed it one day.
“Come to give me the tragic news? Don’t like being the bad guy, huh? Guess it hurts your image of yourself as the ever-popular leader of Team B. Hey, don’t worry, you’ll still be my favorite bald-headed boss in plaid.” He lounged in his seat, pretending he wasn’t suffering internal panic.
Ken’s face went blotchy, spots of red fighting for space with pale beige. “They told me yesterday afternoon in the supervisor’s meeting. Who was riding the rocket and who wasn’t, I mean. I get to stay on and supervise.”
Ken lifted a Dollywood pencil sharpener off of Dave’s desk and turned it over and over in his hands until it popped open and shavings fell out all over the front of his shirt.
“You don’t have to feel guilty because you didn’t get fired, Ken.”
Ken’s expression remained glum, so Dave added, “I’m glad you still have a job.” Ken might be a pain to work for, but Dave didn’t wish bad luck on him and his family.
“Thanks. I can’t tell you how relieved I am that I’m not losing...look, don’t worry, Dave. You’re a great programmer and I’ll be glad to give you a recommendation. You’ll find something else.”
“In this economy, I’ll be lucky to get a ticket to ride a match, let alone a rocket.”
“Don’t take it like that. You do see, don’t you, that the company couldn’t afford to pass up this golden opportunity? These new people are sharp.” Ken snapped his fingers.
Dave jerked upright in his seat and banged his fist on his desk. “Shut up, Ken. I mean it, man, don’t insult me. It’s lies and you know it. They’re going to save a bundle of money on labor costs by shipping part of the work overseas and by bringing people here on work visas to undercut our wages. Ability has nothing to do with this whole rotten deal. It’s all about cheaper labor.”
“Try to see things from Markham-Hook’s point of view.” Ken couldn’t meet his eyes.
“Yeah, right. Markham-Hook just announced record profits and a pay raise for Harris that makes God look poor. Naturally they don’t have any spare change to spread among the workers who built this company to begin with. What about the eighty-hour weeks we put in to make deadlines and what about the error free conversions?”
“Dave, keep your voice down.”
“Keep my voice down? I just lost my job because some greedy CEO dumped me on the street like trash, so he can make a few million dollars more than the rest of the CEO’s in corporate America. I’m supposed to give him a high five?”
“Bitter, bitter.” Michael pressed into the cubicle.
Ken took the opportunity to slink past him into the hallway and scurry toward his office. Dave shot him a one-finger salute.